The memories come back to him now
of teacher saying you are so special,
all of you, each one of you as unique
as a snowflake and guess what, what
the children holler back from their seats,
you are special boys and girls, so special
and it’s only a matter of time before
the world recognizes how special you are.
At home Johnny hears the same message
on the television, you are so special
Johnny boy, you are one in a trillion,
special as a snowflake, no one is like you,
no one, Johnny boy, no one! In no time
the rest of the world will see you clearly.
What’s wonderful about children is how
they believe whatever they are told, any
old crazy thing can become their reality
and thus the message dwells in his heart
and mind for decades, sprouting as a daisy
until one day John the man is sweeping floors
of a diner when he hears from the corner booth
a boy with his mother, and she says one day
the world will recognize just how special
you are, Billy boy, they will see what I see.
Rage rises up in John’s guts, uncontrollable
hatred for all who poured jugs of sugary lies
down his throat year after year with a smile—
mother, teachers, the furry character on TV—
all who knew he was meant to be a janitor
or an oil rigger or a gas station clerk,
or a man who sweeps up hair and macaroni,
they knew, all along, they knew
and lied to his face to make themselves
feel better in that moment, look at the joy
I bring to Johnny boy’s face each time I say
the word ‘special’ and see the word transform
into a smile, a smile that goes from face to face
until we are all smiling and happy as can be
for a little while.
John the man breaks the broom over his knee
and the diners run for the exits, Billy boy
is rattled no doubt but mother holds him close
while John the man roars like a lion and leaps
through the front window, power unleashed.
If they catch him he will be sedated and jailed
and this cannot happen tonight John, O John
we have talked about this a million times
with ourselves while lying in bed at night
listening to the neighbors hurl shoes at the wall
and scream how much they hate one another,
we’ve had this discussion while being awoken
by sirens in the middle of the night, John
we said when the time came we would not fear,
you can either join the black-masked mob
and burn down the world or go crazy or leave
and thus he rushes to the bridge and climbs
a pillar to look down at the rushing water
below.
Yet,
there on the bridge is another man with fire
in his eyes who says why have you climbed up
there tonight, John, and what do you seek?
John says I am not special, it was a lie,
all of them lied to make children smile
but no one is smiling in the real world.
The man with fire in his eyes says of course
you are not special and of course they lied,
what will those who do not know teach
those who do not know?
John, my brother, what they did not tell you
is that you are worthy, worthy of the image,
worthy because of the blood that is His blood
running through your heart and your veins,
worthy because of the mind that reflects His
mind, worthy because in you is the forge
that called forth the stars above our heads.
John my brother, you are not special but you
are worthy.